My Last Entry

Dear Readers,

Blogger allows me to write an entry for my blog and schedule it to be published well into the future. So, as I write this, in April of 2009, I intend to schedule it for several years from now.

This idea intrigues me because it's almost like a "time capsule." I hope it will be unearthed at some point in the future, but I don't know what will have happened in the interval.

Why is this the last entry? What might be the reasons that I'm no longer writing my blog?

When I first wrote this entry, I went on to list several negative reasons, but I must have been in quite a mood at that point.  Well, whatever the reason, this is it -- it's my last entry.

So, with that in mind, I have to say the following:

• Each of my family and friends mean a great deal to me. In each of you I've found more than enough reason to like and love you. You add joy and happiness to my life. If you and I have ever had a disagreement, or hard feelings, you can be sure that I did not carry those feelings with me at the end. It's not in my nature to harbor grudges (my memory is just not that good!) and you have always added to my life.
• Kids, I love you. If you have kids of your own, you will appreciate just how much love there can be in a parent's heart. How much the happiness and struggles of a child's life affect the parent. I am truly blessed to be your father.
• Sherry. Wow. What can I say? I love you more deeply, more completely, more intensely than anything in life. From the day we decided we had to be together forever, my life drew into focus, and our love and commitment formed the solid base for everything else. You mean more to me than words can state. Without a doubt, I know that you know that.

And those things are true, no matter the reason for my blog ending.

To anyone who reads this, and to the others who did not, I wish you Peace, Faith, Hope and Love.

Favorite Foto Friday - Here Comes Hallowe'en

I am confident I posted this before, though I can't immediately find when.

I know, Hallowe'en is not for another week, but I sincerely hope to have a very cute picture to post on that particular Friday.  And this is appropriate as we head towards the holiday, anyway.  Plus, I miss these kids.

Dungeons and Family

Years ago, so many years ago that nostalgia washes over me every time I think about the simpler days in Decorah, when I could get together with my friends almost anywhere in town by hopping on a bicycle for a short ride, my good friend Craig introduced us to a new game called Dungeons and Dragons.  We were teenagers, we had time, we loved fantasy -- we were hooked.  Soon, we were playing every chance we had, and I spent most of my waking hours reading, thinking, talking and designing for the game. 

Around the country, and around the world, others were falling in love with this game which allowed its players to assume the roles of adventurers in imaginary worlds full of epic fantasy, searching dark, dangerous dungeons; facing both creatures well known from myth and monsters of new imaginings; rescuing the weak from the forces of evil.  The Role Playing Game had been invented, inspiring a whole new class of entertainment.  But these larger issues were not important to us.  We, the players, just loved the game.  And, in those few times we thought about the future, we longingly imagined being able to gather again to play the game, even in those far away times when we were finally adults.  In fact, we, who started playing as sixteen-year-olds, and who continued playing during our college breaks, imagined that, perhaps, someday, we would gather in our retirement to play again.

Yet never did I imagine what the game could mean to me in my life as a father.

When my boys were young, it was clear they loved the fantastic as much as I did.  So it was easy -- natural, even -- to introduce the idea of giving them each a character and having those characters fight "bad guys" with dice.  This was one of many, many activities we had together.  Sports, plays, movies, vacations, and other more traditional games filled most of our time.  But there was always fun to be had with a couple of miniature figures -- a warrior and a wizard, perhaps -- and a few dice.

But could the fun continue?

I'm here to tell you that it certainly has.  Last night, my boys, together with one of my girls, a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and friends of theirs, invaded a castle, were made prisoners, escaped, and then defeated an extremely powerful vampire who had been preying on a city for more than a hundred years.

As a gamer, I still enjoy playing this game. But far more importantly, as a father I cherish opportunities to share experiences with my children.  Over thirty years ago, when I first encountered this game, I could not have predicted how much enjoyment it would bring to me as a father.  Now, even in the midst of it, I find it hard to believe.  But oh how I appreciate it!

Game On!

Favorite Foto Friday - High Falls on the North Shore

High Falls on the North Shore of Lake Superior




Because today we are going to Patrick's funeral, and Patrick was with us when we visited these beautiful falls, and more.

It's Just So Sad

I don't know what to say. And I don't know how to feel.  But while "sad" doesn't come close, it is a big part of it.

Some people become a part of our lives for a short time, but during that brief time they have a big impact.   Patrick was such a person in my life; in our lives.

Yet, he had been out of our lives for several years now.  It's likely I would never have seen him again, nor spoken to him.  His relationship with our family was over.  After a few months of hosting him in our house, he was no longer "part" of our life. 

Yet, because of those months, he would forever be part of our past. And now, the past is all any of us have with Patrick.  There will be no future. 

I'm sad for many reasons, and for many people.  I am sad for Leah, because I'm her father and I know she's hurting.  And I am sad for Sherry, who spent much more time with Patrick during those few months than I did.  And to those who cared for Patrick, I don't know what to say.  But I feel -- well, I feel this.  And I feel for you.  And at this point, I guess that's all I can do.

And it makes me sad.

http://www.abbottfh.com/obits/obituary.php?id=453840

Happy Birthday, Lucas!

Labor Day, 28 years ago, we welcomed Lucas into the world.  He's been impressing us ever since.


Lucas rocking some sunglasses at 404 Pearl.



Lucas making the case for being Neo in the reboot.



And, because we have another little Will looking so much like this these days, Lucas with some really skinny, young guy.  Lucas and his nephew certainly have some resemblance.

Favorite Foto Friday - James, Adam and Marisa

These days, my camera seems to be pointed at one particular subject almost exclusively.

Today's photo, then, is of that subject and his parents.

Indulging Myself While Missing My Girl

I am thinking about my New York City girl today, so I'll post a few photos from a couple weeks back.








Oh, hey, Leah, when you read this. Someone saw the following photo I took of you on my Flickr feed and "favorited" it. The person goes by the handle "Running With Scissors 67" and seems to "favorite" photos of people with great hair.

Twenty Nine Years Ago

Twenty nine years ago today was the first day of Finals during my second semester of graduate school.  Our first child was due to be born four weeks later, but he was not content to wait that long.  Adam showed up, and our lives have been better and happier ever since.

At his first wedding, in a tux designed and made by Sherry.


With his best friend, and brother, Lucas.


He added sister Sarah before too long, and they always got along great! (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)


Eventually, Leah came along too.


He definitely grew up since that first tux picture.


He met and married Marisa, who is a wonderful addition to his life and ours.


And now he and his lovely bride have added more joy to our lives.

Happy Birthday, Adam!

Favorite Foto Friday: Grandson Time

In which I get to meet my grandson, James...






And the photo I want to keep forever of when Sherry and James. (I'll replace with a better version when I have access to it.)

Welcome, James

And so it has come to pass that these two wonderful people






were blessed with the birth of a son, James on April 6, 2013.

I have not seen him yet, but I am told he looks like this:




(He is the smaller one.)

Congratulations, Adam and Marisa!  You are already wonderful parents.  And it's going to get better!

Love.  Family.  New life.  How wonderful!

Nest Truly Empty

In the 1981 movie, Excalibur, Merlin utters a line which has stuck with me down the years.

For those of you who don't know the film, you might expect it is a version of the King Arthur / Camelot story.  And it is.  So, if you know anything about the Arthur lore, you might know this -- the wizard Merlin was said to live life backwards.  As Arthur explains to Guenevere in the musical version, Camelot, Merlin "doesn't age; he ... 'youthens?'"

In any case, when Merlin sees the completion of something, he knows it is complete, because he has seen the future.  In any case, Merlin's line is simple.  He sees something complete and he says:

"That's it."

This phrase ran through my head several times over the past weekend.  Sherry and I accompanied Leah out to New York City to help her move into her first apartment in Manhattan.  She's been officially graduated for several months now, and she moved into Sarah and Troy's place in Brooklyn Park.  But the address she gave most people for her "permanent address" was our house, and we all knew this day was coming:  she would leave Minnesota to start her life in New York.

Of course, each of our children has done something similar.  Yes, the boys are still in Rochester, but they are on their own in their own places.  And, true, Sarah is not that far away, but she has a very busy life in her own house, too.  They have moved on.  And now, finally, Leah has done the same.

Our house, which despite its generous size, sometimes seemed  to overflow when our family of six was younger, is now a truly empty nest.  We are "empty nesters."  As Merline would say: "That's it."

As I flow down this river of life, it becomes easier and easier to see why people look back on the past so much more as they get older.  There are so many good memories!

So, as we enjoy the empty nest, and relish the times when our grown children can visit us, I will definitely always remember the earlier times, the younger times, when the nest was full and bustling and none of our kids had yet learned to use their wings.






Kids, I am so proud of each of you!  Keep living your wonderful lives.  Just know you are welcome to come home now and again so we can get some of that energy and life back into the nest for a little bit.  The house misses you!

And we do, too.

===================================








(I wonder what a 4000+ square foot 'house' would cost in Manhattan.)

Favorite Foto Friday - Baby Boy in Tux

Happy Friday, everyone!  I am reposting this particular Favorite Foto Friday photo, because its subject -- my oldest child Adam -- is letting the world know that he and Marisa are expecting a son of their own!  Hurray!

That means, by October of next year, he could have a smiling young boy like this.  I wonder if his old tux will fit his son.

Ain't life grand?

Motivation - No Dice? Solution - New Dice.

I run two Dungeons and Dragons groups.  Before each session, as the Dungeon Master, I have to prepare the adventure.  Because one of those groups has been meeting quite regularly, I am pretty constantly in the position of having an item on my list of things to do:  Get Ready for DnD!

Preparing for an adventure is a creative activity.  I enjoy creativity.  But that doesn't mean I am always in the mood to be creative.  Sometimes, the idea of putting my thinking cap on and "putting pen to paper" is just daunting.  I can get overwhelmed and just move on to something else -- it's not as if I don't have other things to do, after all.

This experience is not limited to Dungeons and Dragons preparation, however.  Not even close. Mow the lawn, write a blog, build a Magic: the Gathering deck, go for a run, write a story, do the laundry.  I do all of these things from time to time.  Sometimes, I just go right at the task, and sometimes, I just don't feel like it.

You know what I mean, right?  There are things on your "to do" list which you don't feel motivated to even start, let alone complete.  So how do you handle it?

For me, I have several techniques, but one of the most effective methods I have for recurring tasks is a matter of self-awareness.  I try to understand what can motivate me, or what can put me in the mood, to get a project started.

It might seem strange to those of you who do not game, but for the task of Dungeons and Dragons preparation, a key inspirational tool is dice.

Dice are used in DnD to determine the success (or failure) of most actions, and the degree of that success (or failure.)  And we're not talking your standard 6-sided dice, such as are used in classic board games.  Oh sure, the 6-sided die does get used, at times.   But there is a whole set of polyhedral shapes which form the basis of a DnD gamer's tools.  The single most commonly used type of die in DnD is the 20-sided die.  But in any typical adventure, the 20-sided die is used along with 4-, 6-, 8-, 10- and even 12-sided dice.

Seeing these dice, holding them in my hands, rolling them on a table or in a box.  All of these actions can get my imagination running.  Playing with a couple of dice can remind me of some amazing experiences I've had playing in, or running, this fantasy-based game.  And once the imagination is firing, inspiration and motivation are usually not far behind.

So, this weekend, when I was in St. Paul, I stopped in The Source and let myself look at the large rack of beautifully colored dice for sale.  And, because I have been resisting buying dice for a while, and because I really need to get motivated to write some material for the party as they spend a month in Deepwater, I just had to buy some new dice.




There they are.  The first ones to call to me were those green/yellow beauties on the right.  I saw them in a bin, then searched for a boxed set.  While searching, I happened across the blue/white combo on the left.  And then, there's the red one.  Oh, that red one.  Yes, it's big.  Very big.  About the size of a small fist -- say Sarah's fist, or maybe Nora's.  I've "needed" a die like that for a while.  I want a die I can roll in front of all of the players, so that everyone can see the result. 

You see, I have a temptation, as the father of many of these players, to be a little too nice to them.  If a particular role of the die might disappoint one of them, or might -- for example -- result in the death of their character, I have a real temptation to "fudge" the result.  But, as in real adventuring, if there is no actual risk, the rewards are not as sweet.  So, I want a die I can roll and have everyone know that the die roll is not "fixed."  This red die fits the bill perfectly.

So now, I am ready.  I can start working on the new material for the adventure.  I am excited to get to it.

Well, except that I watched a bunch of TV, and wrote this blog, tonight.  So the preparation will have to wait for tomorrow.

Unless the muse keeps calling to me.  Because, seriously, once the imagination gets awoken, sometimes it just won't go to sleep again.  And when the imagination doesn't sleep, neither do I.

A risk worth taking, I say.

"Written by a Kid" - New Web Series

Remember when you were a kid and you made up excellent, creative stories? Or remember when you had young kids and they did? Well, the Geek and Sundry channel on YouTube has a new series - Written by a Kid - which allows us adults to see those stories. Episode 1 is a great example. It's called "Scary Smash."  Check it out. 



When my kids were young, we made a point to listen to their stories.  In fact, I have a few notebooks with stories written by my kids. I need to go find them and read them again!  I don't know that I was quite as good as these guys at letting the kid flesh out the story.  Nicely done!

You can subscribe to the Geek and Sundry channel with this link if you want.  I personally recommend it.

Dollhouse and Farewell

A few weeks back, on the recommendation of Leah, our youngest child, Sherry and I joined her in watching Dollhouse, a short TV series from 2009-2010.  We finished the series last night.

This series was created by Joss Whedon, a creator whose works always seem to resonate with me, though I -- for some reason -- don't see them until after they are well-known to others.  (The Avengers being the notable exception, because I saw that immediately!) Other Whedon projects include Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Toy Story (screenplay) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show).

Dollhouse starts with a science fiction concept, but doesn't stop there.  The concept: a corporation has invented technology which can store your "mind" and then replace it with other constructed minds.  The corporation ("Rossum") enters into contracts with young, fit, attractive people to compensate them generously in exchange for being able to use their bodies for five years as "dolls."  These dolls are hired by wealthy people, after having specific personalities and skills placed into the dolls' minds by the people who run the Dollhouse.

Our heroine is a doll called Echo (played by Eliza Dushku), and from the beginning we can see that she is special, even for a doll.  The first few episodes, we get what almost anyone would have done with this concept - Echo becomes a lover, an undercover bodyguard, or someone ho has to solve a mystery.  If it had remained this, I would have gotten bored.

Before long, though, the characters surrounding Echo -- half of whom are involved in either running the Dollhouse, or trying to discover and destroy it -- begin to show how such a technology would be very dangerous to society.  And, in fact, this is clearly the overarching theme of the series.  At some point, Whedon and the others must have been told they would have a very limited run, so rather than just put out episodes, they built the series into a 26-episode TV novel.  The consequences of the technology are well thought out, and we care very much about the characters involved -- both dolls and others.

I recommend this to anyone who would like a series with such a science-fiction concept, especially if you appreciate a complete story -- something where the end follows logically from the beginning, and doesn't seem like a "how the heck do we tie this all together?" ending (as many people reacted to "Lost" for example.)

I will always remember this series for the satisfaction it gave with its creative story telling.

But that is not all.

Over the years, Sherry and I have watched many TV series, and many of those with one or more of our children.  Leah, as the youngest, has been around for more of those series than anyone else.  Over the past few years, it has seemed we were constantly watching one series or another with her.

Last night, Leah pointed out that Dollhouse is probably the last series we will ever watch with her.  Soon, she will "leave the nest" in a very permanent way.  Tomorrow, we will put her on a plane for Ireland, where she will finish up her final courses in her college career.  And then, in August when she comes back to the States, we will move her to The Cities where she will begin her next chapter of life.

For that reason, Dollhouse is likely to represent Leah, and her passage from "child" to "adult" even more than it represents a good story.  

Leah, you recommended it, and it was an excellent choice.  What parallels!  Echo learned who she was, and became even more than anyone expected.  You have learned about yourself, and you have gained exceptional experience and skills.  Now, you are ready for what's next.  I look forward to your visits, as often as you can make them.  But in the meantime: Farewell, you amazing, intelligent, beautiful young woman! 

Paintball

On Sunday, I had the opportunity to play paintball for the first time in my life.  Adam (my son) is very excited about paintball, so he had asked that his birthday party this year be a paintball game.  He arranged to have nine of his friends, plus me, spend an afternoon playing games at Run-N-Gun Paintball near Oronoco and Mazeppa this past Sunday.

It was such a blast!  We played three games of  "Capture the Flag," three games of "Capture the Fort" and three games of  "Speedball."  (Maybe it was four?)

For those of you who have never played before -- as I had not -- here's how it works. 

The players divide up into two teams.  For "Capture the Flag" and "Speedball" the teams are as even as possible.  For "Capture the Fort" we had three people inside a three-sided fort structure defending it, and the other eight of us attacked. In all games up until the last one, a player is out of the game as soon as he has been marked with a paintball --- the mark must be the size of a quarter coin, but honestly, if you get hit and the paintball breaks, the mark will almost certainly be that big. The team who has the last players in the game wins, essentially.  Sure, in "Capture the Flag" technically you can win by getting the flag to the right place, but the way our players defended the flag, it's hard to imagine a scenario where a player from the losing side would have still been in the game.

The final game was a "Resurrection" game where, as soon as you were hit enough to be "out" you were allowed to return to the starting base and re-enter the game.  In this game, a player wasn't finally out until he had run out of paintballs.

These are two shots of me after the final "Resurrection" game.  I had been hit multiple times in the facemask -- I had to wipe layers of paint off of my visor just to be able to see (poorly) to move.
















A couple of things I learned from playing:

1. I would never survive in a real gun fight.  I don't see the enemy well enough, and shots can seemingly come from nowhere.  I barely fired a round before I was shot out in the first game.
2. Since the best way to avoid being shot is to stay low, crouching is the order of the day, and that means the next day (or two or three for someone my age) my quadriceps were terribly sore.
3. Being able to play a game like this in the woods, with my boys, made me feel so young -- which I'm not, but the feeling was there.  I am so fortunate to be able to live so close to these guys, and I am grateful that they still enjoy playing games with their dad (and father-in-law, and pseudo-dad.)
4. Those paintballs STING!  (I have a couple of welts which will last a while.)

With Love for Maya Analise Will

On December 25, 2011, my son Adam and his wife Marisa informed Sherry and me that they were expecting their first child -- we were to become grandparents.

From that moment on, I had a grandchild.  From that moment on, my grandchild became a part of my future, part of our family, part of my plan for life.

A few weeks later, having just found out the sex of the baby, Adam & Marisa called home – from Target Center, where they were about to enjoy a Timberwolves basketball game – and informed us it was a girl.  We would be having a granddaughter.  And so, with even more specifics, my dreams and hopes and plans became even more real.  

In my mind, I was holding her just after her birth in mid-July.  I was rocking her in my arms, as I had done to her father twenty-eight years prior, trying to help her fall asleep as I had done for him.  I was anticipating a Christmas in 2012 with a baby surrounded by wrapping paper.  I had already begun creating my “Grandpa’s Reading List” – the books I looked forward to reading to her, using the silly voices I had put away for, oh I suppose almost 15 years, since Leah stopped having her Daddy read to her.

And I watched as my son – my Adam – who is never too high, and never too low – glowed and laughed and literally bounced with the joy of his fatherhood.

In every way, I was already a grandfather.  I already had a granddaughter.

Then, late in the evening a week ago – so late that it was already Monday in the very early morning, I received the phone call from Adam.  Their daughter, still 13 weeks from her due date, had died.  There was no warning.  There was no known reason.  Her heart had stopped.  Delivery would take place, but there was no chance that their daughter, our granddaughter, would live to see any of those things I had planned.

Maya Analise Will was delivered in the very early hours of April 17, 2012.  The family began gathering, and the pain was indescribable.  On Sunday, April 22, a memorial service was held for Maya, and her ashes were interred in the columbarium at Mount Olive Lutheran Church, where Adam and Marisa had joined Lucas, Leah, Sherry and myself as members less than a day before the terrible news.

The service was beautiful.  Simple and touching.  The message from Pastor Siri Strommen-Campbell spoke directly to Marisa and Adam, but also spoke to all of us who were sharing in grief and in love.  And by “all of us” I am speaking of many, many people.  Asked earlier in the week how many people they thought might come to the service -- so that the people planning the post-service snacks might prepare -- Marisa and Adam had estimated 100 at most.  We didn’t count, but the number of people in the sanctuary was well over that 100 mark.

The participation of such a large number of family, friends and colleagues at the service meant so much to the grieving parents, and to us as close family members, that words fail me again.  I thank each and every one of them, as well as those who expressed their sympathies but could not join us.

In the years to come, I suppose I will have more grandchildren.  My children all seem to want to become parents, and if they do, I am confident they will fill their roles admirably.  Adam and Marisa certainly already have. Consequently, I suppose I will one day look forward to another baby to bounce on my knee, to carry around, to read to.

Yet no matter how many other members we add to this family, my heart will always, always, have a special place for Maya.  Our faith tells us that, though she never got to breathe air, take steps, or say words, her life goes on.  Her life brings us joy, her life increases the love in our lives, and though it did not go according to our human plans, we are blessed that her life will always be a part of our shared story.

Goodbye, Maya.  You will be missed.  And you are loved.  Oh yes, you are so very loved.

Video - The Power of Music

 First, see the video -- see the power of music to reach, and restore, a person.




Second, to my children -- I think I had better start making my "Dad's Playlist for Life" because if I ever lose myself as this gentleman has, I ask that you use that playlist to help me find that joyful part of myself which might be reached by music. I will appreciate it in ways I will be unable to express.

And finally, thanks to Todd for sharing this on Facebook.  The power of social media, put to good use, is like nothing else.

Thanks, Adam and Lucas!

 For quite a while, my sons periodically asked me to run a Dungeons and Dragons campaign for them.  A couple of years ago, I agreed.

What a great time it has been.  Last night we had our first "role-playing only" evening.  I had a great time.  I hope they did -- I think they did. 

Next time, there will be battles and magic -- I'm pretty sure.

But last night it was so fun to lay out the story for them by role-playing, asking questions, picking up on clues and so on.

And, to top it all off, they gained some experience for doing things (mini-quests) I had designed.

I want to play again!

Anyway, my thanks to my sons, who kept asking -- nicely -- until it happened.