Accommodating? Or Complaisant? Or Corrupted?

Life is a spectrum. Or rather, life is full of spectra. That's really more accurate. Things are rarely just black and white, with little to no room for gray. It's impossible for someone to be pure good, and it's likely just as hard for someone to be pure evil. There is a spectrum.

As I examine my behavioral habits lately, I realize that a trait which had stood me in good stead throughout the years is shifting to the wrong end of the spectrum.

Most people who have known me for a long time would say I'm fairly level-headed and pretty accommodating. It's partially my personality, it's partially my belief system, but it's also partially planned.

One online dictionary defines "accommodating" as follows: "helpful in bringing about a harmonious adaptation."

That's the good end of the spectrum. I try to be helpful. I try to adapt and to encourage adaptation. I strive for harmony.

To that end, I try to go with the flow. People behave in a lot of different ways, and while those behaviors may be different from what I'm used to, I live and let live. However, in attempting to accommodate, one can be pushed towards a negative end of the spectrum.

One way in which this can happen is to try too hard to please; to become complaisant or (worse) obsequious. As I look at my behavior in the past several months, knowing that I am trying to serve many masters, and hoping for reward, I wonder if I haven't moved too far along this spectrum.

Another related path along the spectrum away from positive accommodation is towards real corruption. Along this path, one accepts unacceptable behavior, attempting to push accommodation past its ethical limits. When this happens, the conscience says "something's wrong" and when one ignores it, the slippery slope towards personal unacceptable behavior is just ahead.

I think a large portion of the stress I've been experiencing is related to the tension caused by habitual accommodation and its inadequacy in dealing with everything. It can deal with some things, but some things require me to take a stand, whether that stand promotes harmony or not.

The Bard said "To thine own self be true." It's good advice. If my accommodating attitude is causing me to behave in ways I don't like, I must put it aside in some situations. I must stay true to myself.